Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
