My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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