It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
