he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
