My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
