WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
