I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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