I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
