you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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