Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
