So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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