its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
