It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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