You really coming over, don't trick.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
