Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
