My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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