bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
