my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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