i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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