you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
