i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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