It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
