then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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