He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
