he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
