haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
