Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
