regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Who died my cat blue again?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
