Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
