you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize