when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
