Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
