We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you would pick up someone in the library
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
