I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
