I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
