you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
