Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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