we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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