My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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