All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
