Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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