youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have fence marks all over my body
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
