i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
