Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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