where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
