whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
