I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
