whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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