so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize