this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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