I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
