Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize