I just saw a hot homeless man
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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