We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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