He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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