you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
