is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
