its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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