So drunk, too bad you don't want this
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
