the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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